Everyone Should Be So Happy

Today is the anniversary of that splendid day when my Beloved took all leave of her senses and said "I do". We have struggles aplenty and there is much I would change about where we are in our lives, but I can truly and honestly say we have a great marriage. In the thirteen years we have now been married I have only grown to appreciate and love her more.

In most of my jobs I've worked with a cross section of young and old and ethnicities from every walk of life. Time and again I've heard men and women alike complain about their relationships. He does this to me. She said that last night. He/she is such a...

This makes me sad. I can't begin to describe to these people what I have with my Beloved. They just don't get it, or they don't believe me. You can see it in their eyes. That hooded look as they nod their heads while inside their saying, "Yeah sure, buddy, what's the real story?"

The real story is this; there was no lightening bolt of love at first sight or a sign from God. It took two engagements for me to stick with it. There have been tears and yelling. There has been pain. Yet, through it all we have reached toward one another even when we would rather have turned our backs to each other. We have hammered at our differences, sometimes again and again and again, until we have figured out how to communicate in a way that the other will understand. She has shared in my joy even when she couldn't begin to understand the subject of my excitement. I have shared in her pain even when I would rather have boxed it up and hid it from sight so that we could move on.

In short, we have tried. Tried to be the person the other needed and tried to understand when the other wasn't all we would have hoped.

I don't know why many others fail at this while we have enjoyed such success. Perhaps God truly meant us for one another. Perhaps there's something in each of us that others lack. Perhaps it's luck. If you know me I'm sure you know which one I believe...so, thank you, God, for the love of my life. And thank you, Beloved, for giving yourself to me thirteen years ago. I will continue to try to be worthy of the gift you and my Lord have so richly bestowed on me. Happy Anniversary.

A Joyful Sound

This is a band I found while searching for medieval music. Now, they are an overtly pagan band with all of the trappings and, when they're using a language I can understand, the lyrics. For that matter I'm sure the lyrics I can't understand fall within the same category. So, as a good Christian lad I cannot recommend them on the basis of content. However, if you want some rousing, joyful music you could do worse.

Which is often the case, finding rousing, joyful music that is not Christian, I mean...and that bothers me. Not that a non-Christian should make joyful music, but that Christians make so little of it. I'm sorry if this makes me a heretic but worship music makes me yawn. Repeatedly.

Now, don't get me wrong. God is awesome, in the non-hang-ten sense of the word. He is deserving of worship, and the lyrics to many hymns are inspired. Certainly when focusing on the all-powerful creator of the heavens there is a place for the serene, the calm. However, there is also a place for joy and exuberance, but Christians seem to struggle with that other half. I don't know if it's fear of appearing sinful, or maybe they think God's peace manifests in an always tranquil demeanor. All I'm sure of is that I have been to many a church and hung out with many a Christian brother or sister, and, more often than not, the joy and excitement seem to be missing.

Once again don't mistake me. I'm not saying most Christians I know are unhappy, far from it. Let me explain it another way. Have you ever gotten up early in the morning as the sky was just beginning to lighten and the air was cool and crisp? Your senses seem heightened. You see every leaf, every blade of grass. You can smell the earth and its richness. Your body trembles with pent up energy and the whole world seems rife with a nearly magical potential. On such a morning you feel as if you could climb the highest mountain or swim across the ocean or just head out the door and run to the ends of the earth.

Have you felt that kind of joy? I have. On those days I whisper a thanks to God for his bountiful creation and for my ability to enjoy it. Every Christian should feel that way about his God's wonderful providence.

So, why do I have to find a pagan band to discover the music that embodies this?

Even Scoundrels Get a Break

I got this quote from here: http://www.survivalblog.com/quote-of-the-day/.

"The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all." - H. L. Mencken

Yeah, What He Said...

"[A] wise and frugal government, which shall restrain men from injuring one another, which shall leave them otherwise free to regulate their own pursuits of industry and improvement, and shall not take from the mouth of labor the bread it has earned. This is the sum of good government." - Thomas Jefferson, First Inaugural Address, March 4, 1801

These Poor Saps

When I was in the active duty Air Force there were many annual events and activities that rolled around year after year that just became another part of military life. One of them was the "charity drive". It had another name, but that's what it was, a charity drive. At McConnell AFB each of the squadrons would put homemade plywood billboards along the main street of the base showing how much money each had raised during the month or so the drive was going on. I remember that each of us would receive a giant list of charities to which we could donate. There was everything from Susan G. Komen fighting breast cancer to the American Indian College Fund.

Now, recently I've been having some fun debates with some friends on Facebook, and more than once we have taken sides concerning the subject of government's role in, well, just about everything. Being the staunch conservative (not Republican, by the way) I am I have been vocally in favor of a very limited government that stays out of things like health care and education. My, what lovely discussions that stance has sparked, too. There is one recurring theme that seems to exist in the arguments of those who oppose my conservative views, and that is this; my not wanting the government to redistribute my money to all the poor saps who need help means I must not want to help these poor saps. It's a fallacious conclusion with only emotional and no logical basis...and it's a bit offensive.

The reason I have told you about the Air Force charity drive is because I recently recalled that long list of charities and something occurred to me. There is an organization trying to raise money for just about every need in existence. These people work tirelessly to spread awareness about their causes. They hold fundraisers and hit folks up for money all the time. Many people give to these organizations to help their fellow man. Any of the many people I have been debating with along with many others I have seen post comments in online newsrooms, other blogs and on social networks like Facebook could easily give to these charities if they wish to help those in need. They could even help in the effort of spreading the word about the needs and where to go to lend a hand.

However, in lieu of these things they wish instead to have the government oversee such "charity" and accomplish the actual work by taking everyone's money to redistribute to the poor saps. So, on the one hand we have charity provided freely by those who wish to help others and on the other hand we have those who advocate forcing everyone to donate money whether they wish to or not.

Or, to put it more simply, on the one hand we have altruism, and on the other hand we have legalized theft.

So, an exercise in honesty; for those who think the government should be using tax dollars for social reform, if you were standing on the sidewalk with four friends and a man aproached you asking for $25 to buy gas so he could get his family to the next city where he has a job waiting would you give him the money or demand that each of your friends give him $5 to help him on his way? Just curious.

Joyful Burden

So, most people who have seen me set myself to a task say I have a good work ethic or that I'm a hard worker...or that I'm OCD. Even the last one is said with a good natured respect, though. My internal reaction is usually a 50/50 shot between a swell of pride that I try to quickly stiffle so that I don't get cocky and look like an ass and a jolt of shame that this poor person has been duped into thinking I'm doing a good job when there is so much I've missed or didn't get to. Sometimes I even have both together.

Over the long term, however, a third reaction has set in. I look around at the job in question, look at the person who is so impressed with my performance and try to figure out what he thinks is so special about what I'm doing. Now don't get me wrong, this is not a false modesty in some attempt to look humble or fish for compliments. I have truly wondered why what I consider to be, at best, an acceptable level of performance is considered by so many others to be exceptional, and I think I've figured it out. Rather, I've figured out why there are so few performing at the same level so that employers and supervisors find MY level of effort so remarkable.

Most people haven't learned how to enjoy work.

By that I don't mean they haven't found work they enjoy. I mean they haven't learned how to enjoy any given work they might be doing. This IS a lesson I've been taught and I thank my father for it. As with many lessons from our youth I did not appreciate it at the time, but now I'm glad my father gave me many chores to perform as a youth. Some were physically difficult. Some were tedious. Some were both. Few were required to be done only once.

One fine example is the trash barrels. My father used to get empty, used, 55-gallon drums to use for trash barrels. The lids to these were sealed making them very poor trash barrels in their initial state. What my father had me do to fix this state of affairs was take a hammer and chisel, beat the chisel through the edge of the lid, pull it back out, place it next to the newly created slit and repeat. I would painstakingly work my way around the edge of the lid until its contact with the barrel was completey severed and it fell through.

Once that barrel got rusted and weak from exposure to the elements it was deposited with its last load of trash at the dump and the process would begin again with a new barrel. Remember, this is just one of many chores. Now, rest assured I did not enjoy many of these tasks I was given while growing up. However, my father brooked no shirking, and if I was given a task it was a given that I must finish it, sooner rather than later. So, I would trudge out, tools in hand, often with many a great and dramatic sigh, to slave away for the awful ogre who ruled our house.

Yet, over the course of time performing many a given task, and over the course of years performing many tasks, a strange thing happened. I began to find that doing the task was less distasteful than having it hanging over my head. I also noticed that as I became used to some of my tasks I could fall into a familiar rhythm that made them seem almost effortless. Too, for those tasks that seemed especially tedious and difficult I was sometimes able to find a way to perform them more efficiently, or I might find it a challenge to just knuckle down and see how quickly I could power through to the end.

Along with the mere completion of a task the quality of the work was also important to my father. Quite often he seemed more upset at a poor quality product than at a task not yet started. Invariably I was required to repeat the task until he was satisfied. It quickly became my goal to avoid the negative feedback and garner the rare compliment, the old stick and carrot motivation. To this day I respond much better to the carrot, as long as it is sincere, than to the stick, though both will spur me.

The end result of all of this is...I enjoy work. I enjoy striving to please the person who gave me the task. I enjoy the challenge of finding the best way to accomplish a task. When possible I enjoy the familiar rhythm of a task at which I've become proficient or skilled. I enjoy pushing to see if I can do better this time than the last time I performed the task. Now, don't get me wrong, there are things I don't like to do. Also, there are times when I just don't feel like doing even those tasks I enjoy most. Yet, on the whole I like the act of being productive whether I am producing a tangible or providing a service.

And the nice thing is, even if I didn't gain anything else from it I would still have more fun at work than most people.

Moving Target

Why is it when people are in large groups the small children among them pick one or two of the older folks to madly run circles around, literally? It seems to be an activity of which they never tire, too. Also, why is it that this particular activity can send almost any parent through the roof in mere seconds? I have seen parents who look to be using every ounce of will not to punt their children across the room, and have felt the urge myself...

You're Always Teaching...but What?

We homeschool our children. Along with the shock and horror with which many respond, and the immediate questions pertaining to our suitability as teachers, whether or not the state is keeping its watchful eye on us and so forth, we often get this response: "I could never do that. I don't have the _________."

The blank can be filled with any number of words or phrases. 'Patience' is a common one.

I know what they mean, these people who find our lifestyle so absurd. They just can't imagine disrupting their own lifestyles and worldviews to take on a responsibility that is so far outside anything they've considered before. Sometimes it's an idealogical difference. Sometimes it's a comfort issue. Sometimes they truly believe we have some special ability they don't. My Beloved and I can be rather vehement in the defense of our beliefs on this issue, but we try not to make someone else feel bad because they aren't doing what we do. Homeschooling is not necessarily for everyone; we understand this contrary to what some may think.

However, we do believe that the education of their children is EVERY parent's responsibility. How you choose to provide for that education may vary based on your beliefs and circumstances. Before you dismiss homeschooling, though, consider this; everyone homeschools to some degree. You, as your child's parent, are one of the central figures in his/her life. If you keep that child home with you all day or only see him/her for an hour at the dinner table you are teaching that child. What you need to consider is what lessons you are imparting.

Rather than run down a list of things you may be teaching your child, both purposely and inadvertently, I will give you an example from my family. My Eldest is 12 years old. The next child is 8, so my Eldest is a few years ahead of her and perhaps a bit more perceptive than his siblings. He has, therefore, recently become aware of some of my vices and failings. One in particular, the details of which I will not get into, troubled him. He approached his mother about whether or not he should confront me about it. She then approached me with his concerns and we three sat down together to discuss the issue. I let him know that this particular vice was something I had struggled with for a long time and my Beloved let him know that she was quite aware of it. We discussed what was wrong with it and why I was extremely sorry it had impacted his life. We also discussed possible actions to take and I made it clear to him that he was not responsible for trying to police me as that was outside of his authority as my child but that I and his mother would work toward a solution.

So, let's break this down with a teacher's eye. First, my twelve-year-old son was exposed to a failure of his father's that was sufficiently disturbing that he felt the need to address it. Without even trying I was teaching him either acceptance of a vice or hypocrisy.

How many "do as I say not as I do" lessons have you imparted to your children?

Needless to say realizing that my son was aware of my actions made me take a hard look at myself. I say that I want him to grow up to be a good man, but what am I modeling for him? However, before I take myself out behind the woodshed let's see what else we can glean from this. My son, at 12, felt secure enough in his parents' love to point out a problem without worrying that there would be negative repercussions. Also, he had a firm enough understanding of the parent/child relationship to first make sure with his mother that it was appropriate for him to approach me. Lastly, he was both intelligent and mature enough to discuss the issue and accept the interim resolution arrived at by the three of us.

These facts are due to two things as I see it. First, God's grace has given us a wonderful child who is developing into a wonderful man despite our many human failings. Second, we have talked to, argued with, disciplined, encouraged, hugged, spanked, taught and loved this boy. We have done our best to model appropriate behavior and morals and admitted our failures when they have occurred. We have, in short, tried to instill all of the qualities we value in our son.

So, know this. If you have children you're a homeschooler. You may supplement the education you give your children with lessons taught by public or private schools. The things you teach may act as a counterpoint to the things they learn from someone else somewhere else, but every moment you are with them...and many of the moments you aren't...you are teaching them.

Now, stop. Consider. The lessons they're learning, are they the lessons you want to be teaching?

No Accounting for Taste

I am currently enjoying a bag of Doritos with some salsa. This particular bag is one of those Collisions bags with the two complementary flavors. In this case the flavors are enchilada and sour cream. THE CHIPS ACTUALLY TASTE LIKE ENCHILADAS AND SOUR CREAM! Now, I know people who can't make an actual enchilada taste like an enchilada...so, how the heck do the Doritos people do that?!

A Teeth Brushing Amusement Ride

So, one of the little rituals that has developed in my house is "Whose turn is it to ride on Daddy's back while he brushes his teeth?" Just before I leave to go to work in the morning, after we've all had breakfast together, I brush my teeth in my bathroom. On one particular day my Darling Daughter asked, yet again, if she could have a piggyback ride just as I was heading in to scrub the pearly whites. Feeling benevolant I agreed. She pushed open the bedroom and bathroom door with her foot as well as flicking on the light with her toes then sat atop my back while I took care of my chompers. The entire exercise amused her very much and the wiggling I produced as I moved my hand back and forth while leaning against the sink made her giggle. So, we repeated the whole operation the next day.

Now, anyone with multiple children knows one child cannot have fun without the others wanting in on it. The Little Man wanted his turn on Daddy's back for the Teeth Brushing Wiggle Ride. Which means it is now my duty to try to remember each day whose turn it is to sit on my back while I brush my teeth. Luckily our Eldest doesn't want in on the action. He's taller than his mother now, so this particular ride might break down pretty quickly if he were part of the rotation.

Plus, I think he thinks he's too old to giggle.

No, Actually, What DO You Mean?

So, one of the phrases I most hate in the English language; "Oh, well, you know what I mean."

*mumble, grumble, snarl, growl*

As a matter of fact, no I don't. I may be able to to guess what you mean with some accuracy. I might be able to divine a general, fuzzy concept from your speech. It's possible I can land somewhere in the general vicinity of your gist, much in the same way a thrown grenade may harm some fellows over there. *waves hand vaguely in no particular direction*

Do you know why my comprehension of your meaning is so indistinct? Because YOUR USE OF THE LANGUAGE IS SO INDISTINCT, FUZZY AND INACCURATE! *huff, puff, gasp*

Sorry, dear Reader, I don't really mean you, specifically. I am, of course, addressing an imaginary antagonist to make a point. That point is this the English language is filled with all manner of very specific words with very specific meanings which the vast majority of the English speaking world ignores or misuses resulting in a blending of definitions that is eroding the language as a whole. What exacerbates the issue is most people seem not to care and actually get defensive if you bring it up.


This takes many forms. Sometimes a person uses a word incorrectly when they really meant a word that is somewhat similar in either meaning or sound. For example, in the above paragraph I might have said either 'intensifies' or 'exasperates' instead of 'exacerbates'. 'Intensifies' is somewhat comparable in meaning, though not quite right, while 'exasperates' sounds similar but is not even close to the right word. Other times someone uses a vague word or set of such words to describe something that requires much more specificity, the word's vagueness being either inherent or a result of extreme overuse. Then there are the catch phrases or words the meaning of which become altered because they are commonly and repeatedley misused either through ignorance or because they are associated with some emotionally charged issue.


So, you get speech like this:


"I PRECEDED down the hall LITERALLY scared to death. The doors were all SCARY and I HATE SCARY doors. I COULD care less about windows, AND I HATE the doors."

So, 'preceded' should have been 'proceeded'. 'Literally' is incorrect or we wouldn't be having this conversation. 'Scary' is far too vaque to be of any use to me as a description. It is quite unlikely that anyone without an actual phobia would 'hate' a door rather than merely dislike it...perhaps even strongly dislike. If you 'could' care less about windows you actually must care some, which is the opposite meaning of that which this phrase is supposed to convey. I COULDN'T care less means you literally do not have the ability to care less than you do showing that the subject holds no importance to you. The conjunction 'and' should be a 'but' to show the contrast between the lack of caring about windows and the strong feelings against doors.

Now, the above speech is still fairly understandable because I couldn't bring myself to hack it up any more than that, but you get the point...I hope. The deterioration of our language is making it harder and harder to hold meaningful conversations. We're runnning out of words with which to say things because we have become verbally lazy and the words no longer hold the meaning they once did.

Don't believe me? Go read a speech by Abraham Lincoln. When's the last time you heard someone talk like that?

Brake Pedal Behind the Times?

I drive a vehicle with an automatic transmission. I would rather drive either a Jeep tricked out with all the off-road accoutrements or a cruiser style motorcycle with some rumble. However, I have children and not a lot of cash. Ah well, I'm not due for my mid-life crisis just yet, anyway.

Anyway, as I was heading home from work today, accelerating and decelerating through traffic, the configuration of the gas and brake pedals caught my attention. Now, I recall learning in some driving class or video all the dangers of following too closely behind another vehicle, especially in bad weather. To drive the point home we were given statistics concerning the time it takes to lift the foot from the gas pedal, transfer it to the brake pedal and depress it. Add this eternity to the issue of your vehicle's mass, velocity and the time it takes to bring it to a halt and it's a wonder we're ever able to stop at all. Understand I am not really trying to make fun of the issue of safe driving. I am all for making it to my destination alive and if terribly important statistics delivered to driving students in dire tones helps accomplish that, well, yippee.

Too, let us not forget that training is not the only tool in our arsenal for combatting traffic tragedy. Engineers have been improving automobiles since the day they dreamed the things up. Anti-lock brakes, improved tire design and specifically engineered weight distribution are some of the advancements in just the field of motion impedance...which brings me to my point.

With all of this technological advancement why are the brake and gas pedals still designed the way they are? In my van, and in most cars I can remember driving, the gas pedal is lower than the brake pedal. It is on the right, directly in line with right leg while the brake pedal is set left of center to the right leg's alignment. Also, the gas pedal is longer, stretching pretty much to the floor, while the brake pedal is typically a relatively small square.

Now, if you wanted to quickly transfer your foot from the accelerator to the decelerator wouldn't you reverse all of that so that you foot could simply slide off the gas to the right where it could not help but catch and depress the brake as quickly as possible? If those terrible statistics about the interminable time it takes to transfer the foot from the gas pedal to the brake pedal are so important why haven't we made some simple physical changes to improve them?

These are the sorts of things I muse about when left to my own devices...

Well Said President Obama!

Here is a link to the text of Obama's speech to the 2010 graduating class of the University of Michigan. Now, since I've become quite conservative in more recent years and our President is anything but conservative I usually find something I disagree with in his addresses whenever he speaks. Yet, today I'm not here to argue or criticize. I was quite impressed with pretty much everything he had to say. I am quite sure if we got down to the nuts and bolts of how to accomplish some of the broad goals he laid out for the students of Michigan we would disagree on most points. However, the President didn't take the opportunity afforded him by this particular spotlight to make specific ideology an issue, and I applaud him. He did exhort the students to challenge their thinking by exposing themselves to differing viewpoints. He also urged them to educate themselves on the issues. Not least of all he suggested that they participate in their community/government warning that allowing frustration to cause them to turn away would only leave a vaccum which would be filled by the radicals who are left when reasoning citizens vacate the field.

Perhaps most importantly of all the President called for civility from both ends of the political spectrum stating that while disagreement and passionate response are to be expected hate filled rhetoric benefits no one (my paraphrase). Amen, Obama! I may vehemently disagree with my opponent, but attacking his character because I disagree with his policies is disingenuous, inflammatory and will never lead to a resolution.

Fight for your beliefs with vigilance and vigor, but remember, that's all the other guy is trying to do. So, maybe extend a little grace and, perhaps, accept the possibility that, policies notwithstanding, you may have a lot more in common with his motivations and character than you thought.